The Truth About New Year's Resolutions - Quitting and Losing will Never Work

HERE WE ARE AGAIN...

 At the start of a new year with all of the ambition we can muster to achieve our lofty goals...so why do so many of them look the same as last year...and the year before that??

  • Lose x# of pounds
  • Quit procrastinating
  • Make more $
  • Have more time

Sound familiar?  So many of us are tired of the process and won't even make the effort anymore.  So why does this happen?

 WHO LIKES TO LOSE?

First and foremost, we are designed to be creative and have a deep desire to WIN. 

From a card game to an argument, I have yet to meet a single person who actually LIKES to lose...have you?  Plenty of arguments start off with, "So let me tell you Joe...here's three reasons I am dead wrong about this..." 

Of course NOT...that would be a set up for LOSING.

This is EXACTLY why you should never set out to LOSE anything...like WEIGHT.   The subconscious mind will move away from that goal and keep the weight on...probably pack a few more pounds on just to keep you from losing.

The same applies to any other goal you try to set that is negative...stopping...quitting, et al.  There's a very funny (yet true) skit done by comedian Bob Newhart that illustrates why "stopping" doesn't move us to achieving goals...here is a shortened version:

 

YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER

The BIGGEST reason for failure by far is that we are trying to do things in the wrong order.   There was a time in our early years when the adults around us asked, "what do you want to BE when you grow up?"  Remember that?

cart-before-horse-post

Unfortunately they stop asking at some point and we lose the foundational order of operations that makes up successful goal setting.  We typically put the cart before the horse and start listing out all of the things we WANT to HAVE first.   You could turn your entire house into one big vision board and STILL fail.  There's a myriad of books, gurus, and coaches who will happily take your money and espouse, the 7 habits or 43 laws that you should form or follow to be the best you.

Save your money and remember these three simple words in this order:

  1. Be
  2. Do
  3. Have

If you want it mathematically, here it is:

Be + Do = Have

 photo courtesy from: www.phrases.org.uk 

 The three big areas of goal setting are always: 

  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Relationships

I am not suggesting that Be-Do-Have needs to be applied to an all encompassing brand new BE -- like a total career change, but there is a reason why statistically more job changes take place in January & February than other times of the year.  Nor am I suggesting that you have people around you ask you what you want to be when you grow up.  Dream BIG, but work within the framework of reality.

This process can be applied to parts of your life that will make up the sum total of who you really want to Be.

SOME BDH EXAMPLES

Since we already talked about the errant process of setting weight LOSS goals, let's use that example first with Be-Do-Have (BDH) as a creative process.  Pretend you are a guy who weighs in at 210 LBS and you would like to be 180 LBS.  You travel a lot for business and it is difficult to eat well and make it to a fitness facility close to home.  What would BDH look like for you? Perhaps...

BE: 
180 LBS and 13% body fat

DO:
Research eating plans online and pick one that sounds good to me
Set weekly meal plans with prepared vs processed foods
When traveling eat at sit down establishments that offer meals according to my planned foods
Drink 8 glasses of pure water per day
Download a fitness app that provides routines for travelers using body weight / resistance exercises
Look into memberships for gyms like Planet Fitness where I can use all locations when traveling

HAVE:
A 32 inch waist
More energy
Better rest
A boost in self esteem
More confidence to tackle other goals
The excitement that comes with the creative process

How about one that just makes up a portion of overall character and helps relationships.  Let's say you are a gal who is late...all the time.  Historically you have just passed it off and said, "that's just the way I am."  However, friends, family, and colleagues are showing you the signs that they are getting fed up with it.  How can BDH help?  Maybe like this...

BE:
Known as the most punctual person in my spheres of influence

DO:
Calendar EVERYTHING in my phone/PC/ and-or in a paper calendar
Review my daily calendar 3x a day at SET appointment times I make with myself
Look at the expected drive time on my GPS for the next day's appointments and add 15-30 minutes to what the posted time is to allow for the unexpected
Use my phone to time things I do on a routine basis to better understand how long they take
Only accept appointments / requests that do NOT potentially conflict what is already in my calendar

HAVE:
More respect from my peers, friends, and family
Less stress
Safer commutes with less chance of speeding tickets
More confidence to tackle other goals

See how this can work for you?  You will only HAVE once you DECIDE what you want to BE and DO the simple things you COMMIT to doing.

I would suggest starting out with one or two that you want to try and let those build your confidence.  There's really no upper limit as to how many you can tackle at once since some are small, but one thing is for sure.  This IS the simplest way to keep the proper order and achieve any goal.

Here is the above explained in a short video < 3min:

HEALTHY APPLICATION - THE HALO EFFECT

The basic idea of the halo effect is that by focusing on one area and making positive change, other beneficial things happen in other areas as well.  Since we have been discussing health, let's use example related to nutrition.  One thing that any health professional would agree with is that Americans overall should drink more water.

A recent article in the Chicago Sun Times stated, “The No. 1 cause of midday fatigue is dehydration,” said Dr. Kendra Frazier, senior medical director at Oak Street Health. “Every day at 2 o’clock, this happens to me. I work in a clinic all day seeing patients, so my boss said, ‘Every time you feel that way, drink a full glass of water.’ You have more energy when you drink water throughout the day. It also helps with concentration and short-term memory.”

It went on to report that 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated and that, "Other symptoms of dehydration include dizziness, headache, lethargy, brain fog, irritability, confusion, infrequent urination, constipation and muscle cramps. More severely, dehydration can be linked to seizures, and chest pains."

Pretty easy to see how the halo effect of drinking more water and making that part of your BDH goals will help in many other areas!

NaturalSof has solutions to help you make sure you and your family are getting the best water to drink and cook with.  So you can check that off early.

YOU'RE MOVE - YOUR NEW YEAR TO BE!

If you would like to download a BDH template you can do so here in POWERPOINT or a PDF version.

If you would like to speak to your local NaturalSof representative, simply visit our Contact Us page, click on your State, and you can call or email your contact.

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